memories

=(

2009-06-13T23:25:00.000-07:00

we will walk our own paths.
i love u,
so i decided to respect ur choice.
hope u r happy. =)

2008-10-04T02:53:00.000-07:00

i am unhappy..
when would u ever call my house when i'm not available wif my hp.. u won
when would u say u love mi from the bottom of ur heart, thinking tat i'm ur everithing..
when would u ask me feeling well anot, care about my health..
when would u not "fu yan" mi and truely care about me..
i feel even i'm not wif u now..
u will not be like in the past anymore..
u will jus find another gal..
claiming tat i go oredi..
so u shall not do anything..
didn u forget the promise tat either one of us is leaving..
the other party will try the best to save it..
now watever i said or angry.. u jus tell mi to leave..
and find someone else..
do you realli love me?
i got no body to tok about love..
oni to this blog..
u won listen to me anymore..
u won be ther when i need u any more..
u are jus gone..
leaving mi alone myself..
i am not happy becos of u..
but u are not affected by it..
i realli feel like gifin up alredi..
this endless relation is making me feel like dying..
someone save me.. pls..

2008-10-03T10:14:00.000-07:00

I know i made a mistake in the past..
thus i'm willing to love u wif all my heart and willing to take care of u..
however.. are u doin the same things too?
u are not even able to reassure mi..
u always contradict urself..
saying things tats opp in the past..
i don noe how long can i press on but..
i jus feel time is not enuff..
anymore..

love

2008-09-06T01:41:00.000-07:00

haha.. wats love.. i wonder..
since the day i love u..
my goal is to take care of u..
of ur food, ur clothing, share ur feeling..
i feel happy last time..
realli.. last yr.. even thou i care less about u..
but de love and de feeling u gave..
was memorable..
but i din noe u would forget the promises we made..
and went wif other gal..
i tot after i made a mistake..
u will noe de feeling..
we both said tat..
no matter wat..
we won find others
at least for a long period of time..
esp we were not single officially..
i start to feel tat.. u don treasure..
u wanna take revenge?
or u wanna make mi suffer?
or u wanna feel shuang?
i don noe..
i only noe.. iwas veri hurt..
i was realli hurt..
i don wan u to be wif her not becos i wanna occupid u..
i jus don wan u to forget all de promises..
i am not harming u..
but y are u treating mi like this..

now we break up again..
even worst as its due to olympic..
jus one wk..
u feel tat i don care about u..
how ever i don understand..
i apologised..
and when u having exam, gaming,
u oso don care about mi..
but why this time
u take so serious into ur heart..
u said i wan u becos i wanna occcupid u..
not i love..
but u?
love mi jus becos u wanna mi to be urside 24/7?
when are u when i need u?

i don noe...

i feel so lonely..
i feel so unwanted..
i feel i am a little gal tat went lost on the street..
jus becos she forget to do something tat de kor kor told her to do few days ago..
he nv find back her anymore..
jus let her get lost..
in the danger of kena cheated or take away..

i don noe..
i jus wan ur love and care..
i jus wan to be recognised..
someone tat u r proud of when mentioning about mi..
someone tat u willing to take care of..

i jus wanna share everithing wif u..
i wanna u to share everithing wif mi too..
cant u love mi and trust mi?
wat i did is jus trying to attract ur attention..
obviously i failed..
u seemed to be more happy now aday..
i hope u are realli happy..
haha..
my feeling's not so impt anymore..
i am jus a passer by..

>.<

2007-07-17T04:32:00.000-07:00

not at all..
i won be in dilemma if u r realli my prince charming..
with happiness..
how can yuyu be confuse?
haha..
i am veri happy ytd.. =)

=D

2007-07-16T05:30:00.000-07:00

happy ytd..
=)..
don noe when i won be confuse..
but..
when u r veri confident tat u will bring mi happiness..
and ready to overcome any obstacles wif mi..
and believe tat we will live happily ever after..
come to mi.. =)...

when we want it the most, ther is no easy way out.. =)..
but wif a sincere heart.. nth will be an obstacle..

lol

2007-07-15T03:42:00.000-07:00

thx fer being my guardian angel always..
i will be ur guardian angel too..
leave a msg at the tag..
or a blog post..
i will get back to ya asap..
i am not capable..
i am not a good gal..
i am bad.. haha..
i am jus too bad to face u..
i hope u will be happy always..
wifout mi and u..
life still goes on as usual..
skool will be busy for us to think of the sadness..
i hope we can success in future..
to balance the loss we had now.

i veri confuse now..
i don noe shd i break wif him and be wif u..
tell mi wat to do..

silly boi..
i will continue to blog..
jus that the acc got 2 blogs..
one is this..
and the other one is for ur own de..
since this blog is for u..
u got the rite to access to it and so on.
i hope u can have ur own blog to write ur feeling and tots..
and share wif ur frens or anything..
i noe this belong to both of us..
belong to us for life..
=)

=(

2007-07-15T00:59:00.001-07:00

haha!..
again..
its 3.30 in the afternoon and i haven been eating.. =(..
biscuit will feed my stomache then..
my bf noes tat i still got feeling for u..
i guess he is veri sad..
but generous enuff to gif mi 1/2 yr to settle my prob..
i think if 1/2yrs later i haven settle..
den its a gg-ed..
i suck rite.. haha..
i think everibody is not happy now..
lolz...
once again.. take care..
and ur exam is coming i guess..
jia you =)

i decided to gif this blog to u..
create a blog for u so tat u can write ur life and so on..
share ur life of de hidden-assassin wif ur fren ok?
write all u wan ther..
for mi.. i blog when i am happy and sad..
i feel much better everitime i wrote inside..
haha..
14july07

i am blogging here cos i am hungry..
haha.. no one at home.. =(..
how's ur day?
slpin til noon?
or gaming?
haha..
wat ro server r u in btw?

it rythems rite?
haha.

一切都是我的错，
无法实现的承诺，
带给你无比伤痛，
让你如此的难过。

den y u always like to break off wif the one u think she is de one?
lolz..
tot of u the whole day and i noe i shdn be like this..
cos i doing some back up on my photos and i saw the pictures..

lolz..
its great to hear u that u can go on wif life..
jia you ok?
all the best in the future.. =)..

i am happy today..
cos i called u..
and u picked up my call..
even thou i cry..
but the tears are not heartbroken..
de tears are love..
was wanted to encourage u to go on wif ur life happily..
but obvious..
i failed..
and we both cried..
realli cant forget u..
and de memories go deeper..
don noe why..
i tot time can dilute everithing?
seems i am wrong this time..
won be able to blog so often during my wk days..
cos skool are busy..

have ya watched harry potter?
hear tat if u read de books oredi..
its not so gd..
but if u nv read the books before..
den its orite..
haha..
i noe u like harry potter alot..
nice ya?
harry grow up oredi..
we grow up le oso..

thx for being ther..
listening to mi always..
so near..
yet so far..
rmb to eat and slp ok?
must take care of urself..
realli wan u to be healthy..
at least..
=(..

13july07

thx for ur love..
realli..
as i say.. try to be happy ok?
i realli hope u r happy..
i am happy now..
thinking of u sometimes..
ahaha.. i got a fren like u too..
waiting for a gal tat he feel he is not the one for her..
but still waiting..
once again..
veri sorri..
i hope this blog will keep u happy..
ther's the little things i can do..
=)

www.xilero.net

12july07

hmmmm..
so tired..
i flunk my english too..
=(..
write out of point..
lol..
i am drawing out a study plan..
haha..
hope i will follow it.. lolz..
how's ya life?
coping well?
i am sure u can do it de.

i went to SCH..
and pass ur house..
haf de urge to take down the 275..
lame rite
guess u won c it wif ur real eyes le..
show u by using the photo bax.

08july07

deceived as in?
wat are u referring to?
i am sorry tat i haf hurt u..
nth i can do to amend my mistakes..
i noe u hate mi..
i understand ur feeling..
i noe everithing is my fault..
tats y i am afraid to think of anything which related to u..
i think i suck..
i cant strengthen my own thinking and decision..
i am de one hu get influenced easily instead of u..
i am sorri.. realli veri sorri..

06july07

life is tired..
i flunk all my h2s..
aww.. which is dam bad la..
people ard mi told mi its jus mid yr..
as long u pass de promos..
nth to worry about..
but how am i goin to face my parents. =(..
grat to ur tests.
but u!..
how can u smoke?
OR EVEN PIERCE UR EAR?
NO WAY..
tats veri bad..
i don wish u c u like this on de street or anywher else..
i will start spd abit of time on study everiday from now on..
gd luck to mi!..

4july07

here's the 2nd post..
i think i did badly for my mid yr..
esp bio.. i am getting like 10% oni..
haha.. bio is hard.. de feelin of hard deprive mi from studying for it..
ytd mom slapped mi.. feel so bad..
useless and lazy as usual..
i am someone hu oni study at de last min..
u noe tat.. haha..
however.. i don wanna regret this time..
i don wan to get retain..
so i promised myself to study at least 1 hr everiday..
if i am not free for de day..
i will add it to the next day..
1hr/day is not too much..
1hr/day able to get at least pass for all my subj (except english which we cant study.. lol..)
i must haf de determination ya?..

as for u..
as i said..
study hard too!..
u r not stupid..
in fact.. cleverer than mi.
if i am intelligent..
u must be a genius..
more talents are able to find from u.
i hope to c a successfuk u in the not far future!..
tats all for de day..
i feel better to say out my feeling and thots
haha.. great to haf a listening ear like u..

3july07

this is my veri 1st post..
haha.. maybe.. its for u..
noe y i don to reply ur msg?..
i don dare..
i am afraid tat any thing tat i haf said.. might haf hurt u..
i don wish to hurt u anymore..
i feel i owe u too much..
and i am realli happy to receive everi of ur message..
knowing tat u r doin well..
i feel glad.. i hope ur life will always be like this..
and.. don msg mi anymore le..
as u noe i won reply..
i noe u deleted mi from ur msn..
i am not angry or anything..
cos if i were u.. i would do de same..
rmb y i deleted u when we jus break off?
cos whenever u on9..
i cried.. cried so hard til my tears are dry..
realli veri painful.. like thousands of needles goin tru my heart..
so i will not blame u for anything.
everi of ur message is so touching..
i noe u still love mi.. veri deeply..
i can feel from everi single of the word..
u noe y i wanted to be a teacher? in nass especially?
cos its de place.. we played wif our frens..
enjoy ourselves.. and the memories..
i believe tat de sweetest moment is tat during sec3 exam period..
i kissed u on ur cheek after de demand from chris and gang..
don noe why i got de courage to do so..
maybe.. its love..

i realise even thou.. in the past..
u had patch and break wif mi for uncountable times..
broken my heart thousands of time..
childish and immature acts tat make regret forgiven u everitime..
but.. u nv makes mi worry..
i don need to care whether u will go out wif gals or chat wif gals..
staying over night anot..
u don tok to gals too.. always wif bryan they all..
i am confident wif u.. i noe u r not flirt.
so guai and obedient at times..
u noe wat i wan.. i no need to say it out..
the music i like.. the small things happening ard..
even i will gif in to u most of the time..
cos u r always like a little child..
hu needs mi to shower u wif my love and care..
in a way.. u r de most cute and lovable bf i haf ever had..
understand everithing on my mind..

realli taking a deep breath and deep consideration when i wan to seriously..
move u away from my stead status..
i realli hate u to say break this word..
i feel tat u will break soon after we patch..
sorri tat i haf hurt u this time..
deep enuff to stay in ur heart for life..
mi 2.. i will nv forget.. how hard my brain keep thinking of wat i shd do.
and.. he is not a better guy tat can gif wat u cant gif mi..
jus tat.. he appear at de right time..
i feel bad myself.. keep thinking tat i shdn receive any love at all..
i hope u can forget de sadness soon..
i realli realli wish tat u will be happy..
if got fate.. we will be tgt.. if not.. happiness will fall on u eventually..
don worry tat i will forget u.. cos nv will i..
anything.. tag on the board if anything bax..

-jing-